Let me tell you about the life of Wendy. Her first taste was with Burger King because of his Double Whopper. That’s when she realized she was addicted to Hardee’s. Her Red Lobster would never be the same. One day, Papa John’s came home early and found Jack in the Box. He was Mad Greek and said, “listen open all night drive-through, you’re Outback!”
On her own and hungry for more, she turned into a Hometown Buffet. When Bob’s Big Boy entered her Burger Basket, it made her Cold Stone Creamery. And when Tommy Burger found out about Long John Silver, it made him Sizzler. But what her Taco Bell really needed was Bobby McGee’s Black Angus. The Farmer Boys were jealous. She could never go back to Don Jose’s Little Caesars.
She really wanted Bubba Gump’s Buffalo Wild Wings to spread her Panera Bread but was disappointed when she found out he was a Dairy Queen. She’s been known for giving BJ’s in Bakers Square. Once at Howard Johnson’s, she flashed her Hooters at Jersey Mike’s hoping for his Red Robin. He wasn’t interested in her Fat Burger or going down on her Olive Garden.
Later, she was arrested for doing In-N-Out with Carl’s Jr. What a Fresh Choice! While in jail, her Del Taco was being serviced by Captain D’s and his Wienerschnitzel. She was bailed out by her boyfriend Denny and he was El Pollo Loco. He found out later he got the Spicy Pickle from her Green Burrito. That’s when she became a Lonestar. Ahh, Fuddruckers!
At her Yard House, Marie Callendar’s wanted to join in with the Five Guys to play with her Chipotle and taste her Jamba Juice. She said, “sorry Blimpie, not with that Potbelly and Macaroni Grill. If you’re hungry for my Cheesecake Factory, you need to be Baja Fresh, Golden Chick. I only play with Mrs. Fields Original Italian Pie. Her Quiznos is no RA Sushi but more like Taco Bueno. With those Twin Peaks and that Panda Express, it makes be Krispy Kreme.”
While at the Village Inn in Tijuana Flats, she met Famous Dave’s Sonic Bonefish and Longhorn. He bent her over the Round Table and that Sneaky Pete’s grabbed Quaker Steak & Lube and did the backdoor Charlie Brown. It was hard for his Roy Rogers to glide in Which Wich made his Sticky Fingers. She was Stir Crazy singing Ruby Tuesday as he pounded her Rock Bottom. This made him Red Hot & Blue. He pulled out his Smokey Bones, dumped her Chili’s, and said, “my Schlotzsky’s gotta heal.” A couple of days later, she noticed she had Joe’s Crab Shack on her Cotton Patch. That hasn’t happened to her Ruth’s Chris since Bojangles and the Godfathers did the Hard Rock on the Subway.
Many years later, this Old Spaghetti Factory now resides on the Ponderosa in the Bahama Breeze playing Domino’s and Checkers. Her Black-eyed Pea Waffle House has had enough. No more Texas Roadhouse for her. She’s been seen driving her Auntie Anne’s Chevys to the Elephant Bar. But now in her old age, she spends her days on her knees at her local Church’s.